I’ve just been reading over my notes/journal/poorly formed ideas and have been reminded that I absolutely decided that I would stop complaining, that it’s an awful character trait and I need to rid myself of it immediately. Not quite sure why I decided that it was so terrible, but I seemed to think that it’s an important thing to stop. And promptly forgot about it. Oh well.
I know that I tend to talk about ‘proof’ a lot, in that I often say that I’m never going to find proof and that I should just move on and dispense of the need for it. And then soon after I’ll write another post about it so clearly I haven’t moved on and proof and I are destined to always be more than ‘just good friends’.
But it’s occurred to me that I may have been looking in the wrong place.
Relating to the whole proof conundrum, I actually have a half written post about the Multiverse vs. God and how they relate to each other and the whole general mish-mash, but I don’t think that I’ll ever post it because my lack of knowledge of the scientific intricacies will be glaringly obvious and someone will end up telling me my fortune (probably legitimately) in the comments so I should probably stick to more abstract topics and not ones that contain strings of words along the lines of ” The extra 6 or 7 dimensions may either be compactified on a very small scale, or our universe may simply be localized on a dynamical (3+1)-dimensional object, a D-brane”***
Anyway, I digress.
Basically, I always come back to ‘proof’ so I should just freaking embrace it I guess. Unless, of course, ‘proof’ exists in a whole other sphere to faith (a parallel universe, maybe? See what I did there?) and trying to find a common ground between the two is going to end in a futile frustration. Perhaps the need for ‘proof’ is buying in to the Western scientific paradigm, when actually ‘faith’ exists completely separately. It’s like…. I’m trying to think of a good analogy here. Feel free to add one in the comments.
As I see it, proof is an intellectual stance and a thought pattern where one thing is contingent on another. Faith doesn’t exist there. Faith is set apart from our thinking and our reasoning; it resides with our emotions and our passions, our instinctive desires and needs.
Maybe what we need is a ‘faith in God’ rather than a ‘belief in God’.
Mind you, it’s very hard to avoid the language of belief. I’ve had to rewrite the next few lines several times because I kept falling back on it and I’m sure that I will time and time again in the future.
The deep, soul touching feelings that we have, the tears that come to our eyes or the catch in our breath when we hear beautiful music or see an amazing cloud or a breathtaking stream of sunlight, feel the spring breeze on our face or hear of an heroic act. These things touch us so deeply and profoundly, yet why?
Numberless times everyday I am transported by something I see in nature and I like to think that the reason our heart is possessed by these is that God doesn’t try to connect with us through our intellect. God wants to connect with us through the transcendent, through the beautiful or even through the mundane that can so often be amazing.
Whenever we see or hear or smell something that touches us in a place that we just can’t explain or justify, that, for me, is our soul connecting with God.
Our most authentic desires; beauty, nature and art, are gifts from God and our heart stirs when, on some level, we acknowledge this. We don’t need them on any physical level but we need them so, so much. They speak to an indefinable part of ourselves that seems to get little credence these days.
We have been trained out of listening to our intuition, of trusting our hearts ands following where our instincts lead. Maybe, if we really want to follow the trails that God intends us to lead or live our most authentic life we need to be more in touch with the nameless places that within us, that call to us on a soul level.
Maybe the more that we make an effort to notice beauty, to create it on our lives and in our words and to help others find it when things just seem too hard, the closer we get to an awareness of God.
And I suppose not complaining so much does connect in with all that, doesn’t it?
***That’s copied from Wikipedia. I don’t know what it means. I now have a headache.